I heard a bird singing out my window this morning.
It sang the song of revolution.
The call of one, both small and meek,
Shouting out to the bigger ones for help.
It sang the song of long-suffered pain,
Sang the song of the ardored worker.
It sang the song of the starving child,
Sang the song of the loving mother.
It sang the song of mankind's struggle,
Sang the song of the life-long slave.
It sang the song of the wishing follower,
Sang the song of an aspiring leader.
I heard a bird singing out my window this morning.
It sang the song of evolution,
The call of many, myriad and strong,
Shouting proudly to their ancestors before them.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
A Poem - Kishacoquillas
This is a poem I wrote quite a while back for someone I once knew. It was based on a dream that I awoke from late one night. I picked up a notebook and wrote it on the spot. "Kishacoquillas" is the name of a creek, a tributary to the Juniata River, that runs through Mifflin County, Pennsylvania. The name is a Lenni Lenape phrase meaning "snakes in their dens." There's a certain spot along that creek in near the town of Burnham that this poem is based on.
We stand alone among the stones,
Just you and I together.
The swollen creek flows on before us
To a watery blue forever.
We take apart the rocky bank,
Taking it stone by stone,
And toss it all into the creek
As we stand together alone.
No one else is watching us
As we stand on the stony shore.
The only thing we have is each other,
And could we ask for anything more?
Not a word is spoken between us
As we stand side by side.
We skip the stones across the water
And sink them in the tide.
And in this heavenly dreamscape,
Not a thing makes a sound,
Nothing but the flowing creek
Kishacoquillas
We stand alone among the stones,
Just you and I together.
The swollen creek flows on before us
To a watery blue forever.
We take apart the rocky bank,
Taking it stone by stone,
And toss it all into the creek
As we stand together alone.
No one else is watching us
As we stand on the stony shore.
The only thing we have is each other,
And could we ask for anything more?
Not a word is spoken between us
As we stand side by side.
We skip the stones across the water
And sink them in the tide.
And in this heavenly dreamscape,
Not a thing makes a sound,
Nothing but the flowing creek
And the smooth stones we've found.
How long could we stand here, my friend?
Could we ever be dissevered?
But if we ever left, I pray
I'll only be remembered.
How long could we stand here, my friend?
Could we ever be dissevered?
But if we ever left, I pray
I'll only be remembered.
How calm we are as we stand alone.
Sometimes after a while,
With a stone in my hand and care in my eye
I give you a gentle smile.
Any troubles that we've had before,
All have been forgotten.
And as we stand alone by this creek,
"The snakes are all in their den."
I see your beautiful face
As you raise another rock,
And as you smile, my spirits rise
Like thundering waters at a lock.
Where will we go on from here?
Will we leave our special place?
Should the waters ever drive us out,
Remember me just in case.
Should life ever break us down,
And time eternal kill us,
I'll wait for you on the stony banks
Of our cold Kishacoquillas.
Sometimes after a while,
With a stone in my hand and care in my eye
I give you a gentle smile.
Any troubles that we've had before,
All have been forgotten.
And as we stand alone by this creek,
"The snakes are all in their den."
I see your beautiful face
As you raise another rock,
And as you smile, my spirits rise
Like thundering waters at a lock.
Where will we go on from here?
Will we leave our special place?
Should the waters ever drive us out,
Remember me just in case.
Should life ever break us down,
And time eternal kill us,
I'll wait for you on the stony banks
Of our cold Kishacoquillas.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Hard Times Come Again No More
There's an old song people used to sing in days when things were scarce and spirits were low. It's a sorrowful song, all ragged with pain. The lyrics go:
Let us pause in life's pleasures and count its many tears,
While we all sup sorrow with the poor;
There's a song that will linger forever in our ears;
Oh hard times come again no more.
[Chorus:]
Tis the song, the sigh of the weary,
Hard times, hard times, come again no more
Many days you have lingered around my cabin door;
Oh hard times come again no more.
While we seek mirth and beauty and music light and gay,
There are frail forms fainting at the door;
Though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say
Oh hard times come again no more.
There's a pale drooping maiden who toils her life away,
With a worn heart whose better days are o'er:
Though her voice would be merry, 'tis sighing all the day,
Oh hard times come again no more.
[Chorus]
Tis a sigh that is wafted across the troubled wave,
Tis a wail that is heard upon the shore
Tis a dirge that is murmured around the lowly grave
Oh hard times come again no more.
[Chorus]
It's been a song that's been in my head in the recent past. I suppose here I'm going to give an update to anyone who may have been curious of how I've been doing in my recent fights with depression. Admittedly, over the past few weeks, it's been rough. I could manage to get through my days (except for the daily need to sleep an extra 1.5-3 hours in the middle of the day), but at nights I'd just fall apart and collapse into a pile of scrap metal. All sorts of emotions would enter my mind: jealousy, anger, frustration, loneliness, sadness, desire for solitude, desire for even the meagerest company. Things could fly all over the place. At times I'd beg the world to leave me be. Sometimes I'd go for a walk out to a grove of trees and just sit there until the feelings passed. Other times, I would desire only not to be alone. I'd text anyone to ask if they wanted to get together and spend some time that evening. Sometimes it worked, other times it was just not meant to be. Of course I could never tell anyone directly how I was feeling. Aside from this blog, word of my depression almost never meets air. I suppose I'm ashamed of it in a way. Perhaps it denotes weakness in me. A man doesn't post about his feelings on Facebook or tweet about sadness... do they? What's more, I never wanted to be a burden on anyone. I never wanted to post something and have someone get bummed out because of how I was feeling, or talk to someone and make them also feel it. Thus, I've kind of painted myself into a corner. I sort of locked myself into my head with only a few tiny cracks left for me to breathe through. It wasn't a particularly enviable arrangement. Sometimes when I was low and finding little escape from it, I'd think of this song and let the chorus play over in my mind. "Hard times, hard times, come again no more." It was a wish I'd sing to fate. Over the past week, however, things have been getting better. My doctor and I took a few measures to get things back on track, and fortunately now I've been considerably more stable. I'm able to get through my day in good spirits, I don't have to sleep around midday now, so now I can get even more work done, and my nights remain stable and strong. At last, I feel like I can get around to doing what I need to do and knocking out the problems that approach me in this life at college. I still internally sing that song, I will admit. "Many days you have lingered around my cabin door, oh, hard times, come again no more." However now, I don't sing it as a dreading and begging wish. Now, I sing it as a hopeful wish for days to come - almost as if to shake my fist at the hard times that may come.
Let us pause in life's pleasures and count its many tears,
While we all sup sorrow with the poor;
There's a song that will linger forever in our ears;
Oh hard times come again no more.
[Chorus:]
Tis the song, the sigh of the weary,
Hard times, hard times, come again no more
Many days you have lingered around my cabin door;
Oh hard times come again no more.
While we seek mirth and beauty and music light and gay,
There are frail forms fainting at the door;
Though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say
Oh hard times come again no more.
There's a pale drooping maiden who toils her life away,
With a worn heart whose better days are o'er:
Though her voice would be merry, 'tis sighing all the day,
Oh hard times come again no more.
[Chorus]
Tis a sigh that is wafted across the troubled wave,
Tis a wail that is heard upon the shore
Tis a dirge that is murmured around the lowly grave
Oh hard times come again no more.
[Chorus]
It's been a song that's been in my head in the recent past. I suppose here I'm going to give an update to anyone who may have been curious of how I've been doing in my recent fights with depression. Admittedly, over the past few weeks, it's been rough. I could manage to get through my days (except for the daily need to sleep an extra 1.5-3 hours in the middle of the day), but at nights I'd just fall apart and collapse into a pile of scrap metal. All sorts of emotions would enter my mind: jealousy, anger, frustration, loneliness, sadness, desire for solitude, desire for even the meagerest company. Things could fly all over the place. At times I'd beg the world to leave me be. Sometimes I'd go for a walk out to a grove of trees and just sit there until the feelings passed. Other times, I would desire only not to be alone. I'd text anyone to ask if they wanted to get together and spend some time that evening. Sometimes it worked, other times it was just not meant to be. Of course I could never tell anyone directly how I was feeling. Aside from this blog, word of my depression almost never meets air. I suppose I'm ashamed of it in a way. Perhaps it denotes weakness in me. A man doesn't post about his feelings on Facebook or tweet about sadness... do they? What's more, I never wanted to be a burden on anyone. I never wanted to post something and have someone get bummed out because of how I was feeling, or talk to someone and make them also feel it. Thus, I've kind of painted myself into a corner. I sort of locked myself into my head with only a few tiny cracks left for me to breathe through. It wasn't a particularly enviable arrangement. Sometimes when I was low and finding little escape from it, I'd think of this song and let the chorus play over in my mind. "Hard times, hard times, come again no more." It was a wish I'd sing to fate. Over the past week, however, things have been getting better. My doctor and I took a few measures to get things back on track, and fortunately now I've been considerably more stable. I'm able to get through my day in good spirits, I don't have to sleep around midday now, so now I can get even more work done, and my nights remain stable and strong. At last, I feel like I can get around to doing what I need to do and knocking out the problems that approach me in this life at college. I still internally sing that song, I will admit. "Many days you have lingered around my cabin door, oh, hard times, come again no more." However now, I don't sing it as a dreading and begging wish. Now, I sing it as a hopeful wish for days to come - almost as if to shake my fist at the hard times that may come.
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